Tuesday, August 12, 2014

What the Housekeeper is Thinking

For my temporary job this summer I am working as a housekeeper at the University of Washington. During the summer the dorms turn into housing for conferences and campus events so they hire seasonal housekeepers. I have seen a lot over the summer, but have also found that I think the same things over and over. So today I offer you, Thoughts of Your Housekeeper. Be nice to the housekeeper next time you stay somewhere, this is what our days are like. Also, all these are real.

Okay lets do this, I got the good floor today. It shouldn't be too bad. Oh never mind, that group left and now there are teenagers here for a video game conference.

How do you possibly go through four towels in 24 hours, there is one of you!

Oh look, they have up a "Do Not Disturb" sign. Good, because I am running out of time anyway.

I think these machines to help with snoring are really the sleep machines they use in Inception to go three levels deep. That has to be the only explanation.

I never thought I would be so desensitized to seeing peoples' intimates hang drying everywhere. Sad.

Another person without a "Do Not Disturb" sign who is still in the room but didn't respond when we knocked. And is fully clothed. Staring at the door like they don't know what to do. Just say "come back later."

How did you get so much water everywhere in only 24 hours?

Did I not just clean this room yesterday?  It would take months for my house to look this bad.

Someone else left there passport out. Why do people do that?

Yay! A clean person!

I only have one more towel left and you are the last room on the floor, please just need one towel.

Oh this person thinks the blankets are cleaner than the sheets? Jokes on them, we clean the sheets.

In fact, I bet you don't even change the sheets in your house once a week, but when you are here you want them done every three days. Go figure.

You didn't lock your laptop, just left your gmail account open. Good thing I am an honest person. Hope you don't run into a dishonest person someday.

Wow these pillows are the worst, sorry guests.

These blankets, however, are the bomb and I totally want one.

Oh you called to complain we didn't make your bed? Well here I am and your suitcases are everywhere. That's why we left a note saying we don't move personal items and if you want your bed made, clean up after yourself. The note was nicer of course.

Is that most of a rotisserie chicken in the garbage?

Haha! This person thinks we don't know what cigarettes smell like! Hope they like their carpet cleaning charge when they leave.

I wonder what these peoples' houses look like?

This is the cutest travel size iron I have ever seen!

This person is here for a library efficiency conference. That is kinda awesome. Does that make me a nerd? I like libraries, what can I say. My books are due. Gotta remember to go tonight. 

This is why I am going to college.

So there it is, the abridged version of what a day is like as a housekeeper. I am sure I will think of a million more later, but hopefully not too many more. Two weeks left before we move back to Utah and I go back to my awesome job at the library! (True story, the library.)

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